March Madnezzzz

No, I am not posting about basketball. That would not be me at all.

Here are some things I've been thinking about lately:

1. Why are there so many discourteous, socially inept people in the world? I'm not just talking about young people who haven't experienced the world enough, I'm talking about adults too, people who should know better but don't.

2. For the first time since elementary school, I have closer white friends than I do Asian friends. (I was going to say MORE, but I realized that's still not true. I know a lot of Asians at school.) And I'm wondering if that's simply because I live with mostly white girls or because I have actually looked around and have not found any Asian girls that I'd like to be friends with. I think it's a mixture of both. Asians, particularly the ones in my class, are especially. . .I'm not even sure how to describe them. Weird? Annoying? Immature? Cutthroat? On another note, I also like being friends with girls who are not in my major and boys who are, because studying math-related subjects with boys is more effective than studying with confused girls.

3. I am working on developing a personal style, which is a lot of work because I've been soaking in images from various fashion blogs & trying to recreate some looks while trying to imagine if I would look good in certain articles of clothing. I really want to go shopping.

4. How close are you to people you've only met briefly, but had an amazing bonding experience, but have not seen in years? Close enough to spend lots of money on train/bus/plane tickets to visit them if you ever get the chance?

5. I really wish it was spring semester second year and my future was more decided.

6. I need to work harder after spring break & stop skipping lectures ><"

7. I should also start toning my body, as the weather is getting warmer & I will soon have to shed my layers & expose more of myself. Yikes.

Payoffs & Tradeoffs

How many times have you thought, "Man, my hard work has finally paid off!"

And how many times have you thought about whether that statement is TRULY true? Sure, in life we generally think of any accomplishment or benefit as a success or gain, but what about the NET results? Did the A on an exam really outweigh the negative physical & mental consequences resulting from the hours & hours of studying and sacrificing of sleep and sanity? Would you still say that your hard work was paid off if you had gotten a B+? How much do you value your time, energy and health--enough to almost exhaust them completely in order to get a desired result?

Often, while we choose to engage in one action and give up another, we don't really think about whether the tradeoffs are worth it. Or maybe that's just me--overly optimistic and narrow minded about the fact that I can't do everything, so I will just have to pick & choose. I'd rather not choose, because it's hard to say whether I'm making the right decision most of the time. I can already feel my body aging three times as fast as a normal person's, from all the caffeine I consume & the little sleep I get ><"

So, here's what I want to know: out of the following list, how would you rank how much you value each item? Is there anything not on the list that you also value?

Health
Grades
Friendships/Relationships
Career
Intellectual Gains
Time
Spiritual/Religious enlightenment

One step behind

As I'm looking at my completely crammed agenda and thinking about how often times, I don't think ahead and deadlines creep up on me, quite a few idioms/adages came to mind:

Too little too late (if that even counts?)
One step behind
The early bird gets the worm
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy and wise.

Mainly, "one step behind" seems to be a common theme to my life. In dance, I'm ususally one of the last people to pick up the choreo. . .or late in doing the moves. . .or just doing them completely wrong ><"

And in life, I get so caught up doing daily activities as simple as studying, going to class & working that I forget to do important things ahead of time like search for internships/scholarships. Before I know it, I only have 1 or 2 weeks to complete a rigorous application, ask for reference letters & etc. Maybe I should have looked into these things ahead of time. . .

All of this just makes me wonder: am I even good at anything anymore? Is being a capable person in general areas worse than being great at a few specific tasks? Or maybe I'm just pushing myself too hard and trying to bite off more than I can chew. If so, how am I supposed to and when will I figure out which things to leave behind & which things to focus on?

Basically everything is a trade off and I can't seem to figure out the marginal costs & benefits properly. Too bad there's no MC & MB Life Calculator or something.

No room for regrets

I'm not sure how I ended up where and in the condition that I ended up, but I'm fairly positive that it had to do with the uncharacteristically large amount of alcohol that I consumed in the course of 4 hrs. One minute I was having fun, taking pictures and before I could protest my own body, I found myself hurling the contents of my dinner over an outdoor couch.

Fabulous.

I'll spare everyone the details (or at least of what I remember), and I'll spare myself some humility, but the main point of the experience isn't really about staying away from alcohol (though that IS a very important lesson that I have learned). I realized that in the short time I have left of this semester, of the semesters I have before applying to the Comm school, before I graduate and before I get my first job, there aren't many places for me to mess up, regret my actions or to start over. While lying in bed, surrounded by my friends, I recognized the moment as the point when the tragic hero experiences catharsis--the recognition of a flaw, that is to bring about his tragic downfall.

There I was, having my own mini tragic downfall. And I'm not about to let one happen for real.

Having officially started taking the "real" pre-requisite business-related classes, I realized how lacking I am in all departments.

I don't really have any idea of what I want to get out of my commerce education.

Nor do I know enough about business/the economy to make and sound statements that truly display my interest, passion and understanding of the subject that I'm SUPPOSED to be passionate for and knowledgeable in.

I don't have any distinct hobbies or strengths that define me as a person.

I can't even begin to imagine what the real world is like outside of school right now, since I'm just about up to my thighs in work.

I really admire those individuals with a unique sense of character, style, a sense of who they are and a strong sense of purpose. It's purpose that drives them to accomplish great things. I need to discover more purpose--or at least a greater purpose than trying to get into the Comm school.

Five episodes of Sex and the City and 3 pills later, I am contently curled up with my laptop & my boyfriend's old T-shirt. It's different being home, now that I've spent most of my time away. In a way, I do feel at home and comfortable, but I also feel like somewhat of a stranger in my own home. With nothing to keep me busy during the day, unlike my high school years, I don't really know how to fit in with everyone else's schedule. Do I still do the dishes, or has someone else replaced me? Or maybe I should clear the table. Would it be weird if I actually practiced violin?

I sort of just find myself wanting to either veg out, be with friends or try to catch a good time to talk to he-who-is-3,000 miles-away. And sometimes, I find myself wishing to go back to school, where even on days when I'm so tired and busy, I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.

Anyway, my jaw is bothering me too much for me to continue with these thoughts. Hopefully I'll be able to fully chew my food soon. Maybe that's the only part of being home that bothers me.

just uploading this pic so I can use it as my bg!

Class of 2013

It's hard to believe that this time 3 months ago, I attended my first college lecture and was still scrambling around to get into the classes that I wanted. I now consider myself a seasoned, if not a less noobish, veteran. Because I'm the class of 2013, I'm going to share 20 lessons I've learned & 13 new things experiences I've had!

Lesson #1:

Do not pick up cups at a party and drink from them. Keep YOUR cup with you at all times.

Lesson #2:

Always eat before going out.

Lesson #3:

And do not eat AFTER (especially when you've already consumed 1000+ calories in alcohol)

Lesson #4:

When drunk suitemates bang on the door at 3AM, turn off all your lights and pretend you're not there to avoid hosting them in your own bed.

Lesson #5:

Make friends in big lectures so they can save seats for you if you have back to back classes :)

Lesson #6:

Stay away from Turkey burgers. And tofu.

Lesson #7:

Make friends with upperclassmen (with cars!)

Lesson #8:

Join organizations to meet new people! And actually participate in their activities

Lesson #9:

Don't go to pointless lectures in which the professor just makes you fall asleep, especially if they're morning classes.

Lesson #10:

Skipping class kicks you in the butt. I think I have proven that one wrong.

Lesson #11:

Look out for one another. You'll be able to tell who your real friends are.

Lesson #12:

Keep in touch with your old friends, because they ARE your real friends.

Lesson #13:

Keep track of how many meals you have left in the week to save yourself from the embarrassment of getting your card rejected.

Lesson #14:

Learn to manage your money.

Lesson #15:

Try different drinks at the cafe until you find your favorites. Oh & make friends with the baristas.

Lesson #16:

Figure out when the dining halls & libraries are open to avoid walking 10 minutes for nothing.

Lesson #17:

Make use of the bus system and master it.

Lesson #18:

Come up with a witty and unforgettable way to introduce yourself. People won't forget your name & it's always a great conversation starter.

Lesson #19:

Turn your printer off when you're not using it. Not only does it save energy, it also does not turn your warm printer into a lovely home for cockroaches.

Lesson #20:

Even if you have wireless, make sure you have an ethernet cable. It'll save your life.

13 Things New Experiences:

1. Attending an a capella concert

2. Walking a dog

3. Eating salad on a daily basis

4. Ice Cream + Coffee in the dining halls to make a delicious frap

5. Taking care of drunk people

6. (Dressing up for a) College football game & tailgating

7. Staying up until 4AM to watch meteors

8. Riding the Greyhound & train all by myself

9. Being in a class with 500 people

10. Large scale scavenger hunt

11. Playing games online during class

12. Frat parties

13. Riding a trolley as a common mode of transportation

Sadly, I have yet to streak the lawn or go steam tunneling (2 UVA traditions). But not to fear, I will go steam tunneling soon. . .And as for streaking. . .well, I'm not sure when that's gonna happen!

Happy holidays everyone!