When I was young

There's a song that I used to love called "Yesterday Once More" by the Carpenters. It's a really old song and it goes something like this:

When I was young
I used to listen to the radio,
Waiting for my favorite songs
And when they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
That I wonder where they'd gone.
But they're back again,
Just like a long lost friend,
All the songs I loved so well. . .

It's a really nonchalant and sort of nostalgic song that I just remembered today because I was discussing people's upbringings with someone and this song was one of those things that I'll always remember about my childhood.

He said that there are so many factors that shape a person's personality. It almost makes me feel as if it's impossible to change a person so easily because there is so much history and so many interrelated factors that you must change or eradicate in order to change that part of the person's personality.

For instance, I guess I still have the need to be in the center of attention, though that part of me has been quelled over the years. In preschool in China, I would rally all the kids to dance on the tables. And in Thailand, I would recite Chinese poems one after another to a gushing crowd of grad students just to feel like the smartest, most loved little girl in the world. And once I entered school, I would always raise my hand to answer questions or burst out with an answer even when I wasn't called upon. I'm not sure where this love for attention comes from, but I'm sure if someone wanted to change that about me, they would have to change the fact that I'm outgoing by nature, fearless as a child and so forth. Where does it stop? It doesn't. It makes me wonder how much do you have to try in order to change something about yourself and how much influence do you need to have on someone to motivate them to change?

For me, this has always been a problem. I always wish that I have the power to be able to influence someone to change for the better, or to be able to change people's beliefs such as racism. But I know that to change someone is to practically erase their entire former existence and to start their life all over again, and to eradicate the roots of racism would be to change the genetic makeup of the human race so that there is no difference in the way we have all been created. And that, is an impossible task.

And so, I guess my new task should just be to accept the past and deal with the present. I won't let it be yesterday once more.

P.S. How do I change my time? It's like 4 hours off from EST.