No room for regrets

I'm not sure how I ended up where and in the condition that I ended up, but I'm fairly positive that it had to do with the uncharacteristically large amount of alcohol that I consumed in the course of 4 hrs. One minute I was having fun, taking pictures and before I could protest my own body, I found myself hurling the contents of my dinner over an outdoor couch.

Fabulous.

I'll spare everyone the details (or at least of what I remember), and I'll spare myself some humility, but the main point of the experience isn't really about staying away from alcohol (though that IS a very important lesson that I have learned). I realized that in the short time I have left of this semester, of the semesters I have before applying to the Comm school, before I graduate and before I get my first job, there aren't many places for me to mess up, regret my actions or to start over. While lying in bed, surrounded by my friends, I recognized the moment as the point when the tragic hero experiences catharsis--the recognition of a flaw, that is to bring about his tragic downfall.

There I was, having my own mini tragic downfall. And I'm not about to let one happen for real.

Having officially started taking the "real" pre-requisite business-related classes, I realized how lacking I am in all departments.

I don't really have any idea of what I want to get out of my commerce education.

Nor do I know enough about business/the economy to make and sound statements that truly display my interest, passion and understanding of the subject that I'm SUPPOSED to be passionate for and knowledgeable in.

I don't have any distinct hobbies or strengths that define me as a person.

I can't even begin to imagine what the real world is like outside of school right now, since I'm just about up to my thighs in work.

I really admire those individuals with a unique sense of character, style, a sense of who they are and a strong sense of purpose. It's purpose that drives them to accomplish great things. I need to discover more purpose--or at least a greater purpose than trying to get into the Comm school.